Crushing Resolutions
I don’t set resolutions. I tune out self-improvement lists and posts. I reject positive-word-infused, thinly-veiled puritanical, personal development invitations. I started to say that it is not personal, but it is. It very much is! When I was younger, I went after everything HARD. Exercise – if you don’t hurt, it won’t work. School – straight As or bust. Massage – deep tissue, and the deeper, the better. Scared of something – face it head-on, jump in, push ahead. Result – an aching body (still), overhyped nerves (literally although born with those, so it’s a toss-up on nature versus self-nurtured), and exhaustive burnout. Somewhere along the way, I quit. It is really challenging to find a new way of being and truly practice it. It actually takes lots and lots of practice, which requires commitment, which can stir up the very beast you are trying to kill, so I just quit for a time. That is not as unhealthy as it sounds. (Quitting actually took its own effort and time!) Sometimes ...